Congratulations! You Are Now A Confident Person!

Hello, Good Readers :D

How are you today? It has just been a day after I posted my previous post, I hope you do not get bored of my posts. Well, in today's post I will give you the last review of a book '365 Steps to Self-Confidence' by David Lawrence Preston. Specifically, I will review chapter 37th until chapter 52nd.  It is going to be a long but final post. So, rather than we waste our time to talk about nothing, let us just check it out now!

Chapter 36 - Overcoming Weaknesses

We basically knew that everybody must have weaknesses, so do we. Weaknesses can be part of our self-confidence issues. However, just same as weaknesses, everybody must also have strength. We oftenly just regretting our weaknesses, rather than improving our strengths. It is absolutely a mistake. If we keep just focusing on our weaknesses, how can we feel confidence? Therefore, in this chapter, we will present the ways of how to handle our weaknesses. In addition, David as the writer of this book said that there are three types of weaknesses that we have or that we think we have. Commonly, I can quote that three types of weaknesses are the weaknesses that are not so important for us, the weaknesses that we can change, and the weaknesses that we can not change. It is important to know which your weaknesses fall to each category, because it will be easily for you to handle and improve your weaknesses.

As usually, we will be presented seven confidence builders in this chapter. Those confidence builders will be able to help us deciding what types of weaknesses that we have or we think we have. Whether they are the weaknesses that is not really important for us, the weaknesses that we cannot change, or the weaknesses we can change. Then, we will be helped to improving our weaknesses, and change it into strengths.

Chapter 37 - Take A Risk

This chapter will be so helpful for us, because in this chapter we will be explained how we need to take a risk. To build confidence we will occasionally have to push ourselves to do things we don’t feel like doing and put ourselves on the line. Welcome every opportunity. Avoiding fresh challenges, difficult people and awkward situations is never gratifying in the long term and just keeps us stuck as we are now. Go on – take the risks! Do not be a coward! If it feels uncomfortable it’s only because we’re not used to it. Change always feels uncomfortable at first, because our past conditioning tries to hold on to our old ways. Confident people don’t always succeed, but they do always enjoy trying and they don’t feel any less a person if they fail.

In addition, this chapter will present us seven confidence builder that can help us to be braver to take the risk of whatever we want to do, but we are afraid to fail. Finally, this chapter will present a story of Valerie and Linda who like singing but they are afraid of singing on public. One day, they finally have managed to get away their fear and after that they felt more confident.

Chapter 38- Just Do It : Confidence Building Activities

In this chapter, David will make us focusing on doing things and activities that we can and have to do to help us building our confidence. For example, to sing, to dance, to take a long deep breath, and so on.

Chapter 39 - Confident Body Language

When we are talking to people, we unconsciously always use two languages. First is our words, and second is our body language. People will consider our body languages more than our words when we are talking with people. It is because sometimes we unconsciously showed the way we really felt through our body language or posture, but say different things with our mouth.

According to that issue, in order to help us managing our gesture, posture, or body language, in this chapter David will present us secen confidence builders that really helpful to help us managing our body language, and give us the tips of how to look more confident with our body language. So, If we are not fully confident, no matter how hard we try to disguise it, our non-verbals will give us away one way or another.

Chapter 40 - Conditions of Worth

In this part, we will be explained about the way we see ourselves, how much we care about what people are going to say about us, the feeling when we felt like we do not deserve something because we lack in something else. That feeling, in my opinion, is conditions of worth. According to this chapter, the most common conditions of worth relate to our physical apperance, intelligence, accomplishments, money and positions, and family background.

In addition, this part will presnt us seven confidence builder that will be able to help us understanding more about our condition of worth, something that made us feel like we do not deserve something, and many more useful advices for building our confidence.

Chapter 41 - Give Up Aproval-Seeking Behaviour.

Do you know what is 'Aproval-seeking-behaviour'? Well, have you ever done something just because you want somebody loved it, or just because you wanted to please somebody? Or do you ever think too much about what others people think about you? I actually often feel the same way as those feeling in questions and those feeling is what we call aproval-seeking behaviour. Furthermore, this book gave the definion of aproval-seeking behaviour. Approval-seeking behaviour implies going along with what you think others expect out of fear that they won’t like you. It means being excessively concernly with what others think.

Obviously there is nothing wrong with wanting to be liked and accepted; it’s a natural human desire. But it becomes a problem when you allow others’ approval to dictate how you feel about yourself. Psychologists recognise this as a deep-seated neurosis. There is only one person whose approval you really need, and that’s you. Other people’s expectations are not your concern. You didn’t create them, and you don’t own them. If others don’t like what you do that’s their problem, not yours.

In addition, this chapter will present us seven confidence builders that will be able to help us giving up our approval-seeking behaviour, just like the title of this chapter.

Chapter 42 - First Impressions

First impressions last. We make up our minds about other people very quickly. We form 90% of our opinions about others in the first four minutes, so it’s vital we think about how we present ourselves to others.

The next few sections are about communicating with others. Talking to other people can be a nightmare when we lack confidence, especially if we’re meeting them for the first time. But even though we don’t tend to think of it that way, conversation is a skill we can all learn, starting with a few basic techniques, then gradually developing our own style.

In addition, this chapter will present us a sustained effort to improve our conversational skills  that will enable us to reach new heights of confidence. Nothing brings confidence more surely than knowing that we can talk to people easily; that we always have something to say and know how to say it.

Chapter 43 - Be A Good Listener

In this chapter, David has an idea that being a good listener is one of the good things that can help us building our confidence. I do really agree with what David said. In addition, David also explained that there are four art of a good communication such as be a good listener, have something to say, express yourself well and appeal to the emotions.

As always, this chapter will present us seven confidence builder that will be able to help us building our good listening skill, in case to listen to others. You’d be amazed how much more confident you feel when you’re a good listener. You find you can handle business and social situations confidently. Become a good listener and you’ll gain a reputation as a good conversationalist without having to say very much at all.

Chapter 44 - Stand Up For Yourself

In this chapter, we will be helped to improve our assertiveness or our way to stand to ourselves. According to this book, assertiveness means expressing ourselves clearly, staying true to our needs and values, while at the same time respecting the dignity of others.

Assertiveness is not to be confused with arrogance, rudeness and being unrealistic in our expectations of others.  When we know how to stand up for ourselves,  we will deal with situations, including the most difficult, effectively. We are unlikely to be steamrollered into anything against our will. 

In addition, this chapter will present us seven confidence builders that will be able to help us satmding up for ourselves or improving our assertiveness. Remember, we get treated the way we teach others to treat us. Assert ourselves and we gain others’ respect. Our relationships will be more sincere, because everyone understands us perfectly.

Chapter 45 - How To Be Assertive

Just like the title of this chapter, we will present the way or steps how to be assertive person in this chapter. However, let us back to the 5 key of success with the I-T-I-A Formula. We always can use this formula to acquire something such as assertive. All we need to do is to decide, think,  imagine, and act like an assertive person, so that will me easily for us to learn how to be assertive.

In addition, this chapter will serve us sevwn confidence builders that consists of steps, advice, affirmations and anything that possible to help us building an assertive version of ourselves.

Chapter 46 - Say No When You Mean No

You have gotten the point since you read the title, haven't you? Yes, it is exactly like what you are thinking now. It is a chapter that will help us to be more assertive to say 'No' when we mean 'No'. For example, there is a girl who invited you to her party tonight, but you do not feel like going tonight. You want to say 'No', but you are afraid of hurting her feeling so you say 'Yes'. This is the wrong thing. If you want to say no, just say no. Be brave to reject others invutation if you do not want to. Remember, we was not born to please all people.

In addition, this chapter will serve us seven confidence builders that can help us building our assertiveness by saying no without hesitating.

Chapter 47 - Compliments and Criticisms

We live in a world that people like judging each others. It's sad, but it's true. As human being, we must have a lot of people who love and always support us, and also people who hate us. We sometimes get compliments from people, and we sometimes get criticisms from them as well. This chapter will serve seven confidence builders that will be able to help us handling those things, compliments and critisms. After you read this chapter, you will be able to still feel good about someone'compliments and also critisms about us.

Chapter 48 - How To Ask For What You Want

Many people find it difficult to ask for what they want or to complain about poor service even when they are fully justified. They think it’ s impolite. They don’t like upsetting people, or worry they might be met with hostility. They prefer to ‘put up and shut up’. Why?

According to this book, David said that there are two main root causes such as low self-esteem; feeling unworthy of getting what they want, and not knowing how to ask or complain effectively.

Confident people aren’t afraid to complain. They’re happy to ask for help when they need it. They find out what they’re entitled to, and refuse to settle for any less. They know it’s better to ask and run the risk of being turned down than to bottle up their grievances and lose out for sure. This is why be assetive to ask what we want has relation to education.

Finally, this chapter will present us seven confidence builders that can help us learning how to ask for something that we want properly.

Chapter 49 - Lighten Up

In this chapter, David explained that if we want to be confident, find something funny about everything. Do not be so serious about something, because people who lack of confidence will do that. If we can less our anxious, the more confidence wel will become. In addition, this chapter will present us seven confidence builders that can help us learning how to find something funny over everything, so that we do not have to be so serious and anxious when we do or face something. Finally, after we apply those seven builders, we will become funnier person, happier, everyone will not judge us as a very serious person and we will feel more confident.

Chapter 50 - Emotional Intelligence

In this chapter, we will be preseted about Emotional Intelligence. Emotional intelligence is central for high self-esteem, confidence and assertiveness. According to thia book, it has two aspects, which are equally important such as self-awareness; an understanding of, and ability to manage your emotions, and the ability to sense what others feel and respond appropriately. People who have this communicate more effectively, make friends more easily and inspire loyalty and confidence.

Human beings are more inclined to act emotionally than logically. When you relate to others on an emotional level, and realise that they’re unlikely to think, feel and react like you – you get on better with everybody. Be sensitive to others’ feelings, accept and empathise with them. Then you’ll be more confident in all your personal interactions.

Finally and as usually, this chapter will present us seven confidence builders that can help us learning hoe to control our emotions so that it will improve our emotional intelligence, and then we will become more confident after all.

Chapter 51 - Take An Interest in Others

On the one hand, there are so many people who always concern about someone else's feeling so that they cannot be free with theirselves. On the other hand, there are no little bit people who do not care about others, and that also can effect their confident unconsciously. People who lack interest to others will feel nothing, but aloneness. However, if we can take a little bit interest to others, we sometimes will try to make them happy and somehow it also can make us happy at least in the same degree.

In addition, when we make a positive impact on another person’s life, we attract the same from others because what we give out, we receive. In the words of Og Mandino, ‘Happiness is a perfume you cannot pour on others without getting a few drops on yourself.' We feel better about ourselves when we concentrate on giving rather than receiving, and when we show consideration for others spreading love and happiness in every way we can. Whenever we give to others they feel valued, and it doesn’t have to be much. Even a smile, a kind word and a few moments of our time are precious gifts. Finally, this chapter will present us seven confidence builders that can help us raising our interest to others, be kinder to others so that we can feel more confident after that.

Chapter 52 - Choose Peace

Yeay, finally we have got reach the end of this book. Are you sad? God, I will miss this book so much, but no worry I can read it back anytime I want. So, in this last chapter of this book, David told us be more aware of our peace. If we can get our peace, we will be more confident. Then, this last chapter will present us eight confidence builders that can help us bringing peace to ourselves and ourmind. Also, this will present us steps how to be a spiritual version of us because spiritual is also one of things we need to have to feel peace, calm, and then we can be more confident.

Finally, we definitely have finishe to read all the reviess of chapters from the book. I hope all information I presented can be useful for you. Thank you for visiting and reading my blog. I do appreciate it a lot. See you again on my my next posts. Much Love.